Why Can't It End Some Other Way?
by Chicken Yuki
Summary: After being bothered by Serra again while angsting over his loss at Dread Isle, Matthew finally formulates a plan to get her off his back by setting her up with both Sain and Lucius. However, it all ends up with an unexpected consequence... Serra X ?
1. Heck On Earth

_Disclaimer: Intelligent Systems owns the Fire Emblem Series. Not me, Capiche?_

**Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword**

**Why Can't It End Some Other Way?**

One clear day, at a camp set up in the Nation of Bern, a restless thief contemplates over his emotions. The perfect opportunity to ease his grief was presented to him some time ago, yet even to this moment, he finds himself thinking through his next course of action.

"That… damned Jaffar. For everything he has done… for all the pain he caused me for taking Leila's life… I… I want to avenge her… I have to kill that bastard! But… would it really help ease my suffering? And has that man truly reformed himself? I---"

"Yoo hoo! Matthew!!!" A shrill voice cried from the distance.

The brown-haired thief, apparently named Matthew, slapped his head in disgust.

"Bloody Hell, it's her…" he growled under his breath.

The source of the shrill voice revealed herself to be a young woman in white priestly robes and pink hair in pigtails. Most of the camp know her simply as Serra.

"Naughty Matthew! How dare you run away from me without considering my social needs?" Serra scolded.

Matthew sighed. "Serra? Didn't you read the note I left at the tent? I wanted some alone time alone for today… because I'm trying to clear my head. I generally don't like being emo around people, so if you could please give me some space---"

"Nonsense!" Serra scoffed. "I was in the mood to talk to Erk at first, but since that man is off prancing around with his beloved "Priscilla", you happen to be next on the list, so hush! You know my position happens to be far more important than your little spy games, so you'll have to do as a temporary vassal until Lord Hector finally comes to his senses!"

"Honestly, Serra, I'm in a bad mood today, so I'd rather not be bothered by the likes of you. Unless you'd prefer I take it out on you, instead…" he threatened suddenly.

"Ha! Ha Ha! Matthew, you and your silly little sense of humor! I know you could NEVER really be so angry at me like that! It's that wry wit of yours that I really like about you, you know?" Serra giggled. "Anyway, I know it's strange, but last night, I had this really strange dream about pink kittens. Now you must be wondering, why in St. Elimine's name is my Lady Serra dreaming about pink kittens?! Well, it's a funny story, you see---"

"Why can't this girl learn to shut up? Even when I clearly point out my need for "Alone Time", she comes to bother me anyway. Is she THAT dense? Honestly, it's like my suffering is her necessarily sustenance for her." Matthew thought to himself in agitation.

"---Well, now all I can think about nowadays is how cute it would be for pink kittens to exist in real life! Oh, how great it would be to snuggle one in my very grasp! Don't you think? Matthew? Matthew! Hey, Matthew! Where are you going?!" Serra shouted.

"…To be alone." Matthew blatantly stated. "Seriously, leave a shadow alone every once in awhile, will you?"

"But a shadow can't exist without a body to form it, right?" Serra refuted playfully. "Now stop being silly and get back here right away!"

Matthew sighed again.

"No. Go Away."

For some reason, Serra formed a sickening smile with her lips.

"Oh, I see how it is." Serra uttered solemnly.

She then placed an arm on her forehead and appeared to be filled with woe.

"Alas, after being so long in the company of a beautiful maiden, the once free-spirited companion find himself entrapped by her irresistible charms, yet he forces himself to push her back to preserve her sacred chastity! Oh, curse this flawless beauty and for bringing lust upon this poor soul!" she cried dramatically.

Matthew stared at her in disbelief.

"…Okay. I'm still trying to get over the death of my dear friend Leila, the dirty bastard that killed her just joined our company, and while you've pestered me many times over without realizing it, you arrived at THAT conclusion? ARE YOU INSANE?" he shouted ruthlessly at the loquacious priestess.

Serra huffed up a storm.

"Hmph! Fine, if you're going to be so insensitive, then I'm leaving! There's no point in a servant of St. Elimine such as myself to take such abuse!" she said as she turned around.

"Finally!" Matthew thought to himself in relief.

"Of course…" Serra continued, "if I find myself in need of your services for any reason despite your little outburst, I WILL be back, and I expect your cooperation!"

After sticking her nose disdainfully in the air, the frustrated Serra finally made her departure.

Again, Matthew slapped his head.

"Oh, Bloody Hell. That pest of a priestess just doesn't know how to leave me alone, does she? Just how far deep is her sadism? And who is this Dark God that allows her to torture me day in and day out? That's it! I have to find someone to distract her attention! Blast… Erk's relationship with Priscilla acts as the perfect anti-Serra shield. But ho, what is this? If I remember correctly, that Green-armored Caelin knight always resorts to trying to win over Serra whenever he is rejected by another woman, and that feminine Monk seems to have good relations with her. Perhaps there is a way to escape this living Hell… " Matthew contemplated.

And so, with his new preoccupation in mind, Matthew the Thief sets off to rendezvous with a flirtatious cavalier in green…


	2. Chivalry and The Scoundrel

"I thought we established this earlier. Sain I honestly want you to stop flirting with me. Besides… There's… someone I have feelings for. Good bye." An anxious archer girl with green hair uttered before walking off.

"Wait! WAIT!! My lovely Rebecca!!" A brown-haired Cavalier with green armor and a bandana cried, but the archer would no longer listen.

After the archer was gone from view, the Cavalier knelt down, fraught with disappointment.

"No! Lovely Rebecca! I thought I was finally stumbled upon an ideal romance with thee, but alas! What? What sort of man has captured this fair maiden's heart to deter her from my efforts?" Sain the Green Cavalier cried aloud.

"No, I mustn't! There are still plenty of ladies left in this bountiful company! I must persist if I am to win over a lovely flower!" He cried desperately.

Right at that moment, Matthew just happened to spy upon Sain's latest failure. He decided that this would be the best moment to "strike."

"Yo! Caelin Knight! I see you are in spirits today! Has your personal crusade left you with little success?" Matthew cried aloud.

"Ah, the thief from Ostia, I see. I happen to have name, and I would appreciate it if you address me as such. For I am Sain, Sub-commander of Caelin Knights." He announced. "By the way, good thief. What is this "Personal Crusade" you speak of?"

"Oh come now, Sir Sain! Is it not obvious? You've developed quite a reputation amongst our company as a reckless ladies' man. Many refer to you "Sain the Scoundrel" due to your constant affairs, yet you've yet to win over a single lady thus far." Matthew explained.

"I came CLOSE, mind you! I had one delightful girl within my grasp, yet she escaped my charms once she discovered her feelings for another! This is not right, I tell you! Do you not agree with me that this company holds an unusual number of considerably "charismatic" men for one bound to constant battle and blood? This is absurd! I believe the only reason I've failed thus far is this obscene competition! Otherwise, I would not have to work so hard as to win a girl over with my natural talents! Nay, there is even greater chance that I would have a harem at my feet!" Sain claimed.

Matthew stared at him in great disbelief. "That sounds… rather forward of you, Sir Sain." He uttered in a doubtful tone.

"I speak only the honest truth!" Sain replied.

"Right. Anyway, I have come to you with some interesting news." Matthew continued.

"Is this so? Pray Tell, does this have news have to do with those seedy Horse Merchants from the Stables of Geico? I already told them, I don't care if they claim to save 15 percent or more on---"

"N-no. I'm afraid I've not even heard of such a Stable." Matthew interrupted. "It has more to do with my associate, Sister Serra."

Sain's ears perked up upon hearing Serra's name. "Sister Serra, you say? For what sort of news does she have for me?" The Cavalier grinned.

"Not from her "directly", exactly. Let's just say this is my personal report to you concerning her. Since I know you would be interested" Matthew grinned.

"What is this? Do you think my efforts to be so futile as to believe I am in need of desperate help? Such arrogance! If you think yourself to be superior just because you've had one lady compared to my unfortunate streak, then---"

"No! Nothing of that sort! It's just with a man as proud and straightforward such as yourself, it would be regretful to see you give up on an opportunity because you believe it to be gone." Matthew expressed.

"With Sister Serra?" Sain uttered. "Do you mean to say that she might feel for me after all?"

"Who's to say? All I know is, while milady may seem even more frank and to point than yourself, I suppose there are times it's safe to assume she plays the occasional game of hard-to-get. Especially when she may find a special someone to be intimidating." Matthew teased.

Sain looked slightly flustered.

"Intimidating? Me? Are you serious?" Sain asked desperately.

"I didn't catch the exact words. But being her constant associate, she does seem to express her interests to me quite often, and I could've sworn I've heard the mention of a green-armored cavalier with a handsome visage on occasion. I might also have heard that said cavalier comes on so strongly; that she fears he is may do the same to others behind her back. Alas, I'm convinced that the hidden loneliness and betrayal in this woman's life has secretly forced her to keep such romantic prospects at bay!" Matthew suggested.

"Hidden Loneliness and betrayal? But… Sister Serra! It feels as though whenever I talk to her, that the beautiful lass has nary a care in the world! In fact, I am convinced by her constant chatter that not a single solemn thought rests in that spirited girl's mind! It is but one of the many characteristics that I find truly magnificent about her." Sain confessed.

"Is this so? You sure sound fond of my friend, and you do not seem to be in active pursuit of her." Matthew sure.

"This is true. I once made my efforts upon her when we reunited at Caelin Castle. Although many women simply rejected me at the start, Sister Serra was always in such high spirits to converse with this curious knight. I thought that such attention warranted a reasonable assumption that she has smitten with me, but the moment I ceased mere flattery and tried to elevate our relationship to the next relationship, Sister Serra rejected be outright and ruthlessly. It pained be to know how close I had finally came, just to be tossed aside so effortlessly. Sister Serra was truly an ideal lady of the faith, but time always moves on, so I had to as well." Sain expressed.

"Really? You got along so well, yet she rejected you when you got THAT close? And it was only once, I heard? I'm quite surprised to hear that you didn't persist, considering what you could've gained." Matthew replied.

"Truly? It's just… as fair as Sister Serra is; she dealt me perhaps the most blunt rejection I've ever had. It was so blunt, that perhaps my heart might have stopped that very moment had I not recalled the old saying about being "plenty of fish in the sea". But what you have told me has indeed caught my attention." Sain confessed.

"Have you known any other man among the company to make a move on her yet?" Matthew asked.

"No. Although I admit it is a surprise, considering her sheer radiance. All I've seen her associate with whenever we meet are very few people, but it gave me mixed signals as to her preference. Lord Hector is quite the bold and brash fellow, while Erk is rather cold and antisocial unlike myself. Then there's that kindly, feminine monk whose gentle expression even fooled me once. And finally, she really seems to enjoy your presence, wisecracking thief. Considering all of these people she's so familiar with, I would have thought at least one of them had laid claim to her before I had my chance. Do you understand my confusion?" Sain said.

Matthew threw his head in the air. He would've been laughing very hard at this moment if he wasn't too preoccupied in trying to "sell" Serra to this hopeful opportunist.

"Well, there you go. Maybe she's just so surprised to finally receive a confession from one of these prospective mates. Who knows? Perhaps things are still in your favor, and you could finally have her at your side with one more push?" Matthew suggested.

"Perhaps you're right!" Sain cried cheerfully. "But it intrigues me to see you try and aid her in her romantic affairs. Might you have a bit of affection for her as well?"

"Heavens No!" Matthew shouted immediately while desperately covering a tone of disdain. "I mean, I'm still getting over for my departed friend Leila, and besides, you can imagine how much pain an unrequited love can be for delicate lady, right? I'd just think it would be great favor if you can keep her from such a terrible fate!"

"Oh! Such wise words indeed, Matthew! I admit that I had first thought you as a selfish schemer when I saw your shifty form around Lady Lyndis, but perhaps a compassionate heart beats within you after all! I owe you many thanks, my man! Perhaps it would be even wiser if I don't waste any more time simply dwelling here! I must find Sister Serra at once!" Sain cried.

"Yeah. You go do that." Matthew replied casually.

"Right! With this new revelation in mind, I'm off to claim my stake in the affairs of love!" Sain proclaimed as he ran off to find Serra.

For awhile, Matthew stayed behind to watch Sain in earnest.

"Eager fellow, isn't he? Well, I suppose it's worth my time to see his progress this time around." Matthew said to himself before blending in with the shadows.

Sometime later, Sain indeed found Serra, while she was talking to a young mage girl named Nino about her recent pink kitten fetish. Their discussion started off well enough, however…

"Sain, let me spell it out to you like I did so the last time: No. N-O. There, now isn't that simple?" Serra replied bluntly.

"Sister Serra?!" Sain cried in surprise.

"Sir Sain. You're a very entertaining man to hang around with every once in awhile, but it's just…. outrageous flirts really disgust me, so sorry." Serra explained.

"Sister Serra… is this so? But… but by chance, do you happen to be continuing this game of hard-to-get? Your reluctant heart may doubt me now, but please have faith! I can show you how loyal if you just offer me that chance!" Sain pleaded.

With a big grin, Serra gave a simple shake of the head. "Nice try, though!"

Poor Sain looked completely devastated. "N-no… how shameful! Rejected not only once, but twice from Sister Serra! And I was so sure, too! How could this be?" he thought to himself.

"Well, thanks for the lovely chat, Nino! I'm going to go take a visit to Lady Lyndis' tent! Perhaps she would also appreciate discussing my odd vision on pink kittens as well!" Serra said before leaving the scene.

"Good Bye, Sister Serra!" Nino waved cheerfully as Serra vacated the scene.

For awhile, Sain remained completely dejected until he spied the petit form of Nino right by him.

"Ah, Miss Nino! What a sight for sore eyes!" Sain greeted. "I would just like to say that---"

"Ah, I'm sorry for being terribly rude, but I cannot. I'm still far too young myself, anyway. I appreciate the nice gesture, though." Nino said before she scampered out.

At this point, poor Sain was in the largest slump he ever faced.

Meanwhile, Matthew happened to be watching from the distance, but kept himself at a close enough distance to hear the whole thing.

"Oh, well… it was worth a try, at least. I guess this leaves Lucius as my only hope." Matthew said to himself nonchalantly before he disappeared in the shadows once more.


	3. Lucius' Light

**Chapter 3**

About an hour passed since the incident with Sain. Matthew took part in a conference with Hector and his friends concerning the issue of trusting Jaffar. Nonetheless, the affair was daunting an emotional, but in the end, nothing was resolved, and all parties involved remained very skeptical towards their new supposed ally. In any case, the nimble thief slipped out to enjoy lunch as he thought over the matter for himself.

The fact that Jaffar killed Leila still weighed heavily on his mind, yet something made him hesitate from taking his revenge.

"Is this… what Leila would want?" Matthew thought to himself. "I admit, he seems different now than the heartless murder from before, but… ugh, we agreed to leave him alone for the moment. I'm still restless over the whole thing, though."

After finishing up some beef jerky, Matthew decided to head towards the tent of Raven, an ill-tempered red-haired mercenary. For some reason, Lucius vacated his own tent to attend his own matters, so the resourceful thief had to rely on using the monk's closest acquaintance to inquire about his whereabouts.

In merely a few moments, Matthew comes across the young mercenary himself, who happened to be practicing his swordplay at the moment. Matthew approached Raven very carefully while gauging his distance until he reached a point he was certain to be heard.

"Hello, Good Mercenary! May I have a minute?" Matthew cried.

Raven made one last battle cry while he swung his sword mightily, and then planted it on the floor. He faced Matthew with typical disdain in his eyes.

"Yes, what is you want, thief?" Raven said back in an irritable tone.

"I just wanted to know where your good friend Lucius is. I wanted to discuss something important with him." Matthew explained.

"Really?" Raven said gruffly.

The moody Mercenary paused. He turned his head away with a dubious stare into space. He then faced Matthew once more.

"Fine. He happens to be conversing with the pink-haired priestess for the moment. Wherever she stayed for the night, I'm sure he should be there with her." Raven answered.

"I see. Thank you for your business, and I'm sorry for interrupting your training." Matthew said before taking off in a nimble manner.

"Oh, this is just perfect! It looks like good old reliable Lucius is making the next move for me! This setup might actually work this time, considering how well the two somehow getting along. I don't really understand how in the blazes he could stand her for so long. He must really be a saint to be able to put up with the "Dark Servant" and "Burning Blood" back there." Matthew thought to himself in mirth.

For a moment, Raven kept his eyes focused on Matthew. After the thief disappeared from view, the hardened mercenary simply went back to his training.

"He shouldn't be a big problem." Raven uttered to himself.

* * *

Meanwhile, by Serra's tent, both she and Lucius were in the middle of a discussion, just as Raven had said. 

"Honestly, you really don't have to flatter me. If I'm really being a bother, then you don't have to stay around like this." Serra said in an unexpectedly sympathetic tone.

"No, I mean it! I suppose you can come off as rather harsh, but I know you always mean well! You've even become an accomplished healer in your own right, so it's only more proof of your kind heart!" Lucius insisted.

"I… thank you, Lucuis…" Serra said as she was taken aback.

A long, uneasy pause held between the two blushing faces. Finally, the pink priestess inched closer while playing your fingers.

"You're far too kind to me, yet… I know I won't receive this same tenderness forever…" Serra sighed.

"What? Whatever do you mean?" Lucius asked with a confused look on his increasingly reddening face.

"I mean… I know you happen to really like Raven." Serra pointed out frankly.

"Um... well, yes. Of course. Lord Ray-Raven and I happen to be very close friends for quite awhile." Lucius replied.

"Oh, quit teasing. You know what I mean… you "really" like him…" Serra rephrased anxiously.

"Of course I really like him! As I said before--- wait minute. You don't mean THAT, do you?" Lucius cried in a shocked and disgusted voice.

"Oh, honestly Lucius! I'm not going to persecute your for loving another man, even as fellow clergyperson! I mean, I'm actually quite touched! To see someone as graceful and beautiful such as yourself with one as rough as Raven is a lovely romance, even if the both of you happen to be men. Actually, I really seem to enjoy that concept a lot in the back of my mind, but I can't really explain why." Serra explained.

"Um… Sister Serra, I suspect there is a misunderstanding here…" Lucius replied with a quiver in his voice.

"Huh?"

"I don't… "Love" Raven… in that way." Lucuius clarified. "Wherever did you get that idea?"

"Actually, I once overheard a discussion between the two of you. Something about becoming his lover, going off with him and becoming his wife or something of that sort?" Serra admitted.

"Oh, I see. No! I was just saying that perhaps Lord Raven could try and find himself a proper spouse so he could always have a caring spouse to return to once Raven and I complete our travels! I mean, as much as I respect him, I think a fitting woman could help cool down Raven and his constant foul mood. I… I must admit, that's the most obscure misunderstanding I've ever dealt with." Lucius explained.

"Really? Wow…. Now I feel silly! But, yes, I suppose you're right. Raven could really loosen up every once in a while and get a good woman to ease his tension, right?" Serra said with a wink while elbowing Lucius with a chuckle.

"What? What are you insinuating now?" Lucius asked.

A grinning Serra was all too happy as she whispered her explanation too him, which in turn caused Lucius' face to turn redder than Eliwood's hair.

"N-no! N-not that… I… I meant…" Lucius stumbled while he was trying to get out his words. "I meant that that Raven should finally settle down with a loving wife to take care of him. I fear the worst that his wanderlust will result in a meaningless death unless he finds a special someone to live for."

"Hmmm… yes, I suppose that makes sense. A loving wife could sway him from the constant danger of a mercenary life." Serra replied.

"Ah, anyway…. While we're on the subject of love… I, actually have something personal to speak to you about." Lucius said anxiously.

In a flash, Lucius took Serra's hands and clasped them in his own.

"Sister Serra…I---"

"I know. Your further words are not necessary." Serra interrupted with a soft smile.

"Truly? Then, will you accept?" Lucius said hopefully.

"Of course… I would be honored to become Raven's wife and devote the rest of my life to him." Serra finished happily.

Lucius looked rather dumbstruck.

"Wh-what?" the poor monk replied with a breaking voice.

"That's what you wanted to say, isn't it? To be completely honest, I was relieved to learn that you weren't lovey-dovey with your boy pal, Raven! After hanging around with that ungrateful Mage Erk for the longest time, I realized that nothing was really going on between us, especially when Priscilla came into picture! But I suppose that was for the better, because I was beginning to get bored of his rather dull lack of direction in life for awhile. I thought I had made a mistake by pursuing the broody ones and enjoyed myself with my temporary vassal for a bit until Raven came along! I mean… not only is he both handsome and broody, but I can tell there's something that truly drives him in life! And you have absolutely know idea how much that fierce attitude of his entices me!" Serra blurted aloud.

"Um… Sister Serra?" Lucius whimpered.

"Oh, don't worry about a thing, Lucius! I'm not going to stand between you two and disrupt such a beautiful friendship! I happen to cherish you as a dear friend!" Serra replied.

At that moment, Lucius was left utterly speechless as he was lost in his murky thoughts.

"_Sister Serra… I meant to confess MY feelings for you, but…_"

Serra giggled once more before facing Lucius with a gentle expression.

"Thank you for giving me your blessing…" Serra said softly before giving him a small peck on the cheek. She then picked herself off and dashed off towards Raven's location.

A few seconds later, Lucius collapsed on the spot. He wasn't sure whether to be extremely happy for that one bit of affection and his friend Raven, or to hate himself for not saying anything.

Hidden somewhere in close range, Matthew nearly collapsed himself from the surprise statement.

"R-R-Raven?!" Matthew exclaimed. "How in the world did it end up coming to this?"

For awhile, the perplexed thief was frozen by confusion…

…until a menacing smile slowly formed on his face.

"No, wait. This might actually be perfect." He smirked.

Again, the cunning thief slipped seamlessly into the shadows.

* * *

More time passed, and Serra finally caught to Raven and met him inside of his tent. 

The voices of both parties involved rang loud and clear from inside.

"Oh, come now. You don't have to be so shy about it. I'm being sincere here! I can make you happy if you wish." Serra's voice said with a giggle.

"WHAT? No, I will not accept your little "Service"!" Raven's voice crudely replied.

"Silly! I'm not offering a little service! Here, let me show you." Serra softly said.

At that point, the sounds of a minor struggle were heard.

"Hey, what are you---"

"See? Now is it really all that bad? A great, warm hug is good enough to brighten anyone's day! Now, don't be stubborn and let me cheer you up!" Serra's voice insisted in a perky tone.

"Ah! Get off me, woman!" Raven shouted.

Then, sounds of a more violent struggle rang out.

"AAAH!!! Raven, why do you have to be so stubborn? W-w-w-w-w-wait a minute. Raven, what are you doing with that sword?"

"Deceptive Wench! You're trying to seduce me just so you could kill me with my guard down, weren't you?" Raven's voice shouted. "I don't know if or how House Ostia discovered my plot, but if they sent a spy like you to dispose of me… I will not forgive this!"

"Raven! N-no, wait! I don't understanding what's going on, but I'm really a priestess in service of St. Elimine! Honestly! I just wanted to show you I can be a good wife to you and--- KIYAAAH!!!!" Serra's voice cried.

"CEASE YOUR BLASPHEMOUS LIES, WRETCHED SPY!" Raven's voice shouted.

A moment later, Serra ran out crying and screaming with Raven in hot pursuit.

"I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE!!!" Raven proclaimed in fury.

Somewhere in the background, Matthew watched on in sick satisfaction of Serra's recent blunder.

"Well, at least that takes care of one vendetta on the list." Matthew smirked.

END


End file.
